The sky is lowering overcast, and the haze of the cloudy morning closes in in a kind of blueish-grey haze. It's chilly, but not quite cold, and all around very refreshing. I took a test this morning and finished 1 1/2 hours earlier then the 'be back' time, so I'm whiling sometime away in the college library.
Last night as I was attempting to fall asleep, my brain was on overdrive and wouldn't cooperate for the longest time! I was thinking of how life goes in stages, and how the stage I'm in is so different then I've ever had before. The stress level has peaked to a whole new high, and I'm finding out that my body isn't exactly appreciating it. It seems like ever since school started, it's been one thing or another that has been challenging me physically, and quite honestly, I'm SICK of it! (No pun intended =) Currently this head cold I'm battling has been driving me nuts, and making it hard to go to sleep at night. Then before that was the dreaded case of poison ivy and the horrible side effects of the steroid shot the doctor gave me. That doesn't include my fight with chiggers, or the somewhat mysterious dizziness and nausea i've been dealing with on and off the past few months.
It's quite the depressing list, and honestly, I've been strongly considering how good it would feel to lay down and roll around in self pity for awhile. I think how good it would feel to mope and grumble, complain and sigh about how bad my life is and how horrible all this has been. I've caught myself in the very act, actually, much to my shame. Each time I'm tempt to let my mind run in that thought process, I'm reminded that God didn't promise that life was going to be easy. I knew that by committing to the nursing program, I was asking for hard work, late nights, little sleep, stress on my body, and all around being stretched in ways I thought impossible. I knew that I was getting into something tough, but, I ALSO knew that the GOD I serve who has called me to walk this journey has more then enough grace and strength to finish the work He has started in me. He has brought me this far and He will be right by my side to see me through. My God is incredible and I am obligated to praise Him, especially in the moments when I'd rather be whining.
So, yes, the nursing program has been what I expected and more...tough, stretching, challenging, hard, rewarding, amazing, and all around a God thing in my life. I've been reminded more then once that this whole journey of nursing hasn't been about me at all, but all about God and what He wants to fulfill in me. Even more then all the cool things I've been learning through the nursing program, I've been learning so much more about being completely soft and moldable in the hands of the Father. Lessons on realizing how out of control I am, and how I just need to quit fghting for the control I think I have. I've been learning more on what it truly means to be totally dependent on God...when I have no physical, emotional or mental strength left to get up and face another long day of lectures, or another hard test, that's when God is gently reminding me that this is all about Him. When I feel like spiritually I have nothing to give, God touches my heart through a verse or a friend and reminds me that He is right here beside me.
I'm thoroughly excited about fall break, which is right around the corner! We have Monday and Tuesday off of school, so an awesome friend of mine and I are hitting the road for Kentucky tomorrow after I get out of class! I'm beyond excited about seeing some amazing friends and just hanging out and destressing the whole weekend! If you think of it, pray for safe travels, and that I could have a truly refreshing time away.
Remember to thank God for all He's doing in your life today!!
No comments:
Post a Comment